


"Hey, baby."

by drowninginchamomiletea



Category: Wolf 359 (Radio)
Genre: AI Eiffel and comms officer Hera, AND "coast" to reference Memoria, F/M, Hera's last name is inspired by Cutter, Role swap au.., as well as a play on "cost" as a synonym for "price", my babeys, to reference Pryce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-12-23
Packaged: 2021-01-27 12:42:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21392350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drowninginchamomiletea/pseuds/drowninginchamomiletea
Summary: End of ep. 4, but A Little Different.
Relationships: Doug Eiffel & Hera, Doug Eiffel/Hera
Comments: 8
Kudos: 74





	1. Chapter 1

Hera hacked some more as the door swung shut behind Minkowski. She exhaled heavily, pain-ridden and still somewhat woozy. She closed her eyes and lowered her head back onto the medical cot, thoroughly ready to pass out for a few hours. Or a few days.

"Hey, baby."

A smile crept its way onto her lips, and she cracked open her eyes.

"Eiffel... Hey..." She exhaled near-imperceptibly through her nose. "Have you been alright without me?"

"Yeah, I mean, y... Great. I mean, no-not _great._ I started tracking your vitals pretty closely the second you were back onboard, and I may have almost gone Gundam on the good Doctor when, uh..." The AI's normally smooth and humorous demeanor broke up as he fumbled for words. 

"...you missed me?"

"...yeah, uh, I... I've been pretty torn up," he concluded quietly. 

Hera took as deep a breath as she could manage, exhaling in an attempt to relax a bit.

"I'm glad there's someone on this death trap I can rely on to care about me," she murmured hoarsely.

"Doug Eiffel's always here, sweetheart," the AI said, voice buffed with obviously forced robustness. 

"Hah..." The comms officer gave a soft cough of a laugh. "Don't let the Commander hear you calling yourself Doug. Or, heavens forbid, Doctor Hilbert. He _really_ wouldn't like that."

"Ten-four, Officer. My vocal program is sealed."

"Good. When anyone else can hear, it's Eiffel, right?"

_"Yes,_ Officer Coaste," Eiffel said mock-begrudgingly. After a moment of silence, he added more earnestly, "don't worry so much. I don't need a Lady Madonna to keep me out of trouble."

"Are you sure about that?" Hera shot back wryly. 

"Can't be 100% about anything 'round here." 

Sighing, the small woman let her eyes slide back shut.

"That's... Not an unfair analysis."

The conversation fell into a comfortable lull. The humming and buzzing of Eiffel's systems brought a comforting trance to Hera's ears, and her mind fell into a restive state.

"Hey, uh... Coaste?"

"Hmm?" Hera hummed, eyes still closed and head still calm.

"I fixed up a little something for you." 

She smiled lightly.

"Oh?" 

"Yah, um— It isn't much, but... I guessed it might cheer you up a little."

"Well, what is it?" she asked, eyelids lifting.

"Here," Eiffel said, sounding slightly awkward. 

Music began to float through the room as the data reading system ground into action. Hera couldn't help but laugh, which immediately turned into painful coughing.

"D-did you—" she broke off, coughing more. "Did you make a remix of _Waltz of the Flowers?"_

"Lo-fi hip hop, yep." Eiffel sounded pleased with himself, although his voice was soft again. "Did pretty well, if I do say so myself."

Hera smiled, settling back in.

"Thank you, Doug."

He didn't respond, except to lower the lights in the laboratory. Soon enough, the officer sank into a light doze, knowing she had plenty little to trouble her in that moment.

"Sleep tight, Offic— ...Hera."


	2. Bonus!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is an edited excerpt from a sister fic I'm working on. It's the conversation from AIffel's point of view. Enjoy!

Eiffel paused, then surreptitiously gave his emotional processor a little burst of power.

“H-hey, baby.”

He felt a rush of relief when a faint smile appeared on the communication officer’s tired face. Her eyes opened a fraction and she turned her face towards the nearest camera. 

"Doug," she said hoarsely, springing a flutter of emotion in his processors. "Hey..." Exhale. "Have you been alright without me?"

A jolt went through him.

"Yeah, I mean, great." _Wait, fuck. Not only does that sound terrible, it's also a blatant lie. _He hastily backpedaled. " I mean, uh, not-great?" _Good job, Doug. Real smooth. _"I've been keeping an eye on your vitals since the moment you were back onboard, and I may have, uh, gotten angry and almost gone Gundam on the good Doctor a little when, uh..." 

She smiled softly, a smile he rarely saw. A gentle, genuine, full of heart, lov—

"...you missed me?"

"...yeah, uh, I... I've been pretty torn up."

Hera took as deep a breath as she could manage, exhaling in an attempt to relax a bit.

"I'm glad there's someone on this death trap I can rely on to care about me," she murmured hoarsely. Eiffel felt a twinge at her obvious discomfort. He wanted to say something supportive, something a _friend_ would say, but anything he said now, in this emotional state, would come off as pathetic just from his weak voice. But he spoke up anyway, because he was apparently committed to his own failure at this point. He attempted to give his vocal coda a shove before he started talking, but his voice still came out tight and strained.

"Doug Eiffel's always here, sweetheart."

"Hah..." Hera coughed out a chuckle. "Don't let the Commander hear you calling yourself Doug. Or, heavens forbid, Doctor Hilbert. He really wouldn't like that."

"Ten-four, Officer," Eiffel confirmed. "My vocal program is sealed."

"Good. When anyone else can hear, it's Eiffel, right?"

"Yes, Officer Coaste," he said with joking petulance. _I should make it clear I'm serious, though..._ "Don't worry so much. I don't need a Lady Madonna to keep me out of trouble."

The officer's lips curled into a wry smirk.

"Are you sure about that?" 

"Can't be 100% about anything 'round here," Eiffel said with a small electronic _snort _of laughter.

Sighing, Hera let her eyes slide back shut.

"That's... Not an unfair analysis."

They kept talking, really more like murmuring, for some time. All of Eiffel's sensory data was pointing towards Hera getting slowly sleepier, unusually relaxed. He would let her sleep, but there was still one last thing. When a moment of quiet appeared in the conversation, he took advantage of the moment.

"Hey, uh... Coaste?"

"Hmm?" Hera hummed, eyes still closed and head still calm.

"I fixed up a little something for you," he started trepidatiously. 

Another soft smile.

"You did?"

"Yeaah, um, it isn't much, but uh... I guessed it might cheer you up a little."

"What is it?"

"Here."

He located the file and played it through the laboratory speakers. In a snap, Coaste burst out laughing in a rather painful-sounding manner, but laughing all the same. Eiffel loved hearing her laugh. It made him feel happy and excited and contented all at once. 

"D-did you—" the coughing interrupted her, and a flash of worry struck the AI. Hera— ahem, _Coaste_ soon recovered, though. "Did you make a remix of Waltz of the Flowers?"

"Lo-fi hip hop, yep." Eiffel said proudly. "Did pretty well, if I do say so myself."

She smiled and relaxed again.

"Thank you, Doug."

Eiffel elected to fall silent, simply dimming the lights to allow his... _Favorite_ officer to drift off.

"Sleep tight... _Hera,"_ he said quietly. She didn't hear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry this took so long life got very very distracting

**Author's Note:**

> I've loved W359 for years now and had listened through it 3 or 4 times before my current go-through. It's only now that I'm starting to ship and write for it, though. It's suddenly a hyperfixation and the really POWERFUL subhyperfixation is the minor crews (Hermes, Valkyrie, Tiamat). ESP THE HERMES,, CRIES  
But yes though I have always loved these two idiots I'm only now formally shipping them!!


End file.
